Crib-tastic

Well, I wrote this a little over two months ago and never got around to posting....better late than never.  That's my new motto.



As of last week, Vivi has been sleeping in her own crib!  I feel like this is one of the great accomplishments of my life.  Really, it has nothing to do with me....luckily she is just a pretty good sleeper.  I know that because I just typed that, she'll wake up 9 times tonight and refuse to nap tomorrow.  I'll try not to jinx us.  Also, I know that this is not exciting news to anyone outside of my immediate household - so basically if you're not Josh you don't care - but this is my serious life event right now.

It was probably a little over a month ago when I felt like maybe we should start transitioning her to her own room, rather than having her in the swing right beside the bed.  She slept great in it and would sometimes wake up and just need me to put her pacifier back in her mouth, so I was dreading moving her simply out of convenience and the distance I would have to walk for pacifier duty.  But she was doing great, and I had read that the first step of getting her into her crib was to move her swing to her room so she could get used to the environment, and we wouldn't be changing everything at once.

Loving her swing

So after a few consecutive days of napping in the swing in her room, we decided to try it over night.  I was seriously a nervous wreck.  I started thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong...most of it was normal stuff that most moms probably think of...what if she stops breathing? What if she starts choking and I don't hear her?  But I also started thinking of really ridiculous things like, What if that room is haunted? I had never slept in there, so I didn't know for sure.  What if she became possessed?  What if I turned on the monitor and she was sitting up in her swing starting at me with demon eyes?  I seriously lost it.  And started crying.

So my sweet husband volunteered to go sleep on the floor in her room just to make sure she was safe....and probably just to get out of bed with a crazy woman.  I didn't sleep well and kept waking up when I heard her wiggle around and was staring at the monitor all night.  After I saw Josh get up to give her a pacifier several times I started to feel guilty because he had to go to work the next day and wasn't getting any sleep, so at 2:00 am I went in and told him I would trade places.  Worst idea ever.  I basically laid there all night staring at the ceiling, jumping at every weird noise, and trying not to make too much noise so I didn't wake her up.  My nose kept running because I was laying so flat on the floor, and I needed to go to the bathroom. I was having flashbacks of being  at a slumber party as a kid and being too afraid to get up and go to the bathroom because I didn't want to wake anyone up and because their house might be haunted.  Of course.  So, back to our room she went for the next month.  

Last week we made the move to the crib and so far it's been great!  We got a wedge to put under her mattress and that has helped with her reflux, and she still sleeps in her Woombie.  That will be the next big switch - to get her to sleep without being swaddled!  I ordered this crazy outfit, the Merlin Magic Sleepsuit, that is supposed to muffle their startle reflex enough that they won't wake themselves up, without having to keep them wrapped up so tight.  She won't have anything to do with it, so it's only worked as good photoshop inspiration for Josh.

Victory!

Other fun things:

3 months old!

Visiting the Pumpkin Patch

Helping Dad celebrate

10 Weeks Old!

Ten weeks ago today, just about this time in the morning, I woke up and thought I'd peed the bed.  Now I'm in my living room hooked up to my pump like a dairy cow while Josh and Vivi snooze away.  Motherhood is glamorous.

What a ride these weeks have been!  Ten weeks ago, Josh and I had gone to Bahama Bucks with my Dad, Angie, and Katie and then spent the evening at the pool.  I was complaining about how big I was and hoping this baby would come out soon!  I couldn't sleep that night and woke up at about 3 to go to the bathroom, as usual, and then was up until a little after 5.  I'd dozed off on and on a bit, and then woke up with a start because I thought I'd either peed the bed or my water had broken - both options were quite reasonable at the time.

Once I knew for sure what was going on, I took a shower, had some breakfast and off we went to the hospital.  We got checked in and settled, but I was having no contractions.  Typically, you need to deliver a baby within 24 hours or so of your water breaking so you don't risk an infection, so we started pitocin to give me contractions at about 10 that morning.  I made it until 4 or so that afternoon before I had an epidural, and thank you baby Jesus for good drugs!

Looking like goobers on the way to the hospital

I remember when I started having contractions and thinking, "Oh I got this!  I can breathe through this like a boss." And then it just got worse. and worse. and worse. until I thought I was going to die.  I don't think I have a strong tolerance for pain, but I seriously don't know how women do that for hours! I think if I had known exactly how long it was going to take - if I had a set goal in mind - I might have had the willpower to stick it out, but when I was offered immediate relief and it was right within reach, I gladly took it.  After that, I just relaxed and watched some HGTV until it was Go Time.  Next baby, I'm just gonna get that epidural at check in ;)

Our sweet Vivienne was born at 9:25 pm, weighed 7 pounds 4 ounces, and was 20.25 inches long.  During the delivery, I was just focused on getting that baby out, but to hear Josh tell his side of that process is hysterical.  I'm going to try and get him to write it out for me so we don't forget, and I'll post it.  I don't think I would do it justice by retelling it myself.

Snuggling with my love!

We stayed at the hospital for two nights and then came home.  I don't understand how women deliver babies and then look cute when it's time to go home.  I have a "decent" looking picture of me right after I delivered, but two days later I looked like a wreck! I could barely shampoo my own hair, let alone blow dry it and put on makeup.  Maybe I'm a wimp, but I thought the first week postpartum was ten times harder than the actual delivery.

Lookin' rough for the drive home

The first two weeks were pretty rough, but after that it got easier and easier.  I am feeling kind of normal now...pudgy but normal.  I've had so many friends tell me how much weight they lost simply by breastfeeding.  Even my lactation consultant told me to pretty much eat whatever I wanted because my body would just do it's thing and I'd be back to normal in no time.  I call BS.  I have not lost a pound - not one single pound since I got home from the hospital.  Looks like Jillian Michaels and I are going to be best friends soon.  I know it's not so bad. Healthy baby, healthy mama - a little pudge won't hurt.  I'm just ready for my pants to fit ;) Oh, and to not have porn star boobs.

Viv is great.  It will probably take me an hour to sort through all the pictures on my phone and decide which ones to include.  She screamed a lot - A LOT - during the first few weeks, especially in the evenings, but I think those days are just about over.  We've got some reflux issues but I think we're getting that all worked out too.  She's smiling more and more, and I feel like we'll get a giggle any day now.  She doesn't really like tummy time yet, but she loves this little play mat we have that has a mirror on it so she can see herself.  She won't sleep in her crib yet, or in the pack and play we have in our room.  If we lay her flat, she wakes right up, even when she's swaddled.  She sleeps great in the MamaRoo next to our bed, but I know we need to start switching over eventually.  She sleeps from about 8 pm to 4 am, has a bottle, and then goes back down from 5-7, so I don't want to move her and mess up our groove!

1st Month:

Just 3 days old :)

4 Days Old

Almost a month old

So happy to be 1 month old

2nd Month:

Having fun at Lucy's 1st Birthday Luau

We see this face a lot :)

Trying to snuggle with Dad

Love that smile!

I love my Woombie!

Tummy Time

2 Months Old!

4 Years and Counting

Four years ago today, we said "I do!" This morning, we got to see our little peanut during an ultrasound :)  It's been a fun four years, but I think the real adventure is just about to start!

And a few from our adventures...

Josh's first weekend in Texas

My first weekend in Ohio

Cabo! 

Honeymoon in Dominican Republic

At the Colosseum in Rome

Florence

Florence

2nd Anniversary

Bear Carving in Colorado with Papa

Just a typical night ;)

It's a Girl!

Scott and Allee's Wedding a couple of weeks ago

I was hoping to add Viv's sonogram picture but we can't see her face.  I was bummed, but the good news is that we can't see her because she's already sitting so low - good news when delivering babies :)

Another piece of good news: No 10 pound baby!  The lady who did our ultrasound said that she is usually within 8 ounces and Viv is measuring 7 pounds 12 ounces right now (still sounded really big to me!) and that she could gain up to 1/2 pound a week.  I'll be 39 weeks Friday so hopefully she'll decide to come out soon.  I go back tomorrow to see the doctor and we'll go from there.  My guess is that since she isn't abnormally giant, we'll stick to the original game plan and wait for her to come out on her own, and induce on July 10 if she decides to wait that long.  Fingers crossed that she doesn't make us wait another two weeks!

Who Loves You Baby?

As a teacher, I think I get a little glimpse into what parenthood might be like.  Not a perfect picture window view, but a peek inside here and there.  I mean, I wrangle 22 ten year olds at one time and manage to help them learn and navigate fourth grade life.  I hug them and laugh with them and cry with them and most of the time, I really do love them.  But, I get to send them home at 3:00 and go about my business.  I think about them when I'm at home or cooking dinner or trying to go to sleep at night.  That was my biggest adjustment as a teacher - the fact that I didn't quit thinking about my kids when I got home and what we needed to talk about and accomplish together the next day, or wondering about how So-and-so's evening was going because I knew there were struggles at home.  I didn't realize that I wouldn't be able to just "turn it off." I periodically have this nightmare/panic moment when I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder where my students are and that I've probably lost them, before I realize that they are at home in their own beds and I don't have to know where they are at night.  It's normal now though, and I think sometimes Josh feels like he knows my kids too because that's what I talk about when I get home.  

But already, I can tell that being a parent is going to be so much different.  I worry about this peanut all the time while she's inside my body and I can control what we do together each day.  I can't even start to think about what my brain will do when she's a functioning human being out in the world.  Most of the time, all of the time, I'm so excited about meeting her and holding her and smelling her sweet baby head, and it makes me giggle, or cry....and Josh probably shake his head and wonder what's happening in my head.  But then I get these panic moments of what have I done? Will we ever get to sit and watch an entire season of Orange is the New Black on the couch in a single weekend?  Will I ever get to sleep in and spend a day just reading a book? Are my days of wandering around Target for hours over? And then Josh reminds me that "We're gaining so much more than we're losing."  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't.  Change is scary, but it's also really good.  We get to grow.  We get to stretch our hearts.  We get to test the limits of my anxiety.  We get to have our own little family.

Sometimes I forget that I have the best person to share this job with.  The overwhelming tornado of panic happens when I think about all the stuff that I will have to do.  I don't know why I forget about Josh.  I told him once that I sometimes forget that we are separate people and that we aren't the same thing.  I don't know if that's good or bad.  I love that he is such a part of my life, and part of me, but I can't forget that he's his own person too.  He's got his own stuff going on that I need to be aware and respectful of.

But even better, he's good at stuff.  Good at stuff that I'm so not good at.  When we were working on the nursery, I had this vision of what I wanted it to look like and feel like.  I saw it so perfectly, but there was no way I was going to actually make it happen.  And then Josh said, "I can do that!" and he did.  He built it and painted it and created it and it's beautiful.  Now, to be fair, it wasn't a walk in the park - there may have been a crying meltdown on my part because he just wasn't listening to what I wanted and was making the gold flowers all wrong, but we got there and it worked.  Team work baby.

Last night we had a Basics of Baby Care Class at the hospital.  We now know how to swaddle, sponge bathe, and change diapers like champions.  Bring it on Vivi.  We are now totally prepared for parenthood.  While we were there, they mentioned helpful things about baby proofing the house, changing the temperature on the hot water heater, skin-to-skin time with mommy after birth, breastfeeding, and basically lots of things to crowd my already crowded brain.  Through some of that, I was all, Got it - I've already read 10 blogs about how to swaddle a baby.  Arms up, arms down, in the Woombie that I ordered on amazon - you name it, I swaddle it.  Skin-to-skin time? Got it.  We'll snuggle ALL day.  In front of the window to help the jaundice? Yes ma'am. Mama needs some sunshine too. I even have one of those Nose Freida snot suckers that I actually put in my mouth and suck boogers out with. Then the other stuff got fuzzy and I felt tired and defeated.  But you know what happened right when we walked in the door?  Josh got to work on the hot water heater....first thing. We talked about baby monitors and baby proofing things and I didn't even bring it up.  Again, not sure why I'm surprised, but I am really grateful.  Grateful and appreciative that my baby daddy is going to be a really great Daddy.  And I can just take a chill pill and go with it and worry about swaddling, because he's got the rest of it covered.  Or at least parts of it, and we can fill in the gaps together.

Viv's stand-in for the night.
She looks grumpy.  Probably because she knows we're going to practice sticking thermometers in her butt.

The proud Papa.

The most important lesson of the night - baby selfies.
I clearly need more practice.

In unrelated news, I'm 38 weeks pregnant today!  I went to the doctor yesterday and my belly is "measuring big."  Apparently, I went a little overboard with the ice cream.  The doctor said he thinks she'll be around 8 pounds if I deliver on my due date, but it's hard to tell, so he scheduled an ultrasound for next week to "make sure we don't get surprised by a ten pounder."  That's right - I could be delivering a ten pound baby in just two short weeks.  Let's all start praying now.